this will be a post about what i think about myself. wanna say how i feel about myself. sorry peeps..ignore this entry k
these two days i think alot. think about my pp. still not yet finish, i tell myself that i will finish by whenwhenwhen but is not accomplished. no motivation and just plain lazy. i only know how to drag the deadline, giving excuses like i can do it on some other day..but i know it is just self-assuring, maybe the pp will done by itself. wtfook. i indeed still did not changed since secondary. i push my responsibilites, lazy and doesn't treat matters seriously..how did i manage to enter poly huh..i dont know man..
then there's this problem with me in dealing with friendships..i dont know how to cherish them i think. like recently with ah poh stuffs..and friends in secondary school..seldom contact anymore..but i'm surprise there's this one friend from my primary sch..we still talked like we're still in pri..which i feel very xinwei =)..and i know i cannot get along with people easily as others..maybe it is because the impression i give them..not as friendly as others..or the way i react and talked..not something they like or expected..im scare of saying something wrong or inappropriate to them..then my chance of making friends all gone..and sometimes i appear very unnatural to people..which might irriates them..i just felt kinda sad..that this misunderstadning can cause ppl to not get to be friends with..maybe i've just missed a great friend just because of this..and the saddest part was it was me who caused this..hais..im trying to change yes..then sometimes i envied ppl who have alot of companies..anywhere they go, bound to have ppl acc them..but sometimes no..just wanna be alone..doesn't want to talk..just read something or just stare at some stuffs..i dont know..maybe this is what zi bi zhen meant..okkokookokok..think i'm like a immature problem kid..because these problems normally only appear in secondary sch lifes..but now i still have them in my poly life..wts is this..so i want write down friends who meant very much to me..first, ah poh, shiqin, jennica, huiru, weijuan.. ppl in w15e, esp yuanshan, cheri, eileen, benz, fel, yingying ..ppl in w15r, esp klara, sheryl, weixian.. ppl in e46f esp, meiying, fiona, peckyee, jiani, xiaoxiao, ben ..ppl in sakura, esp titan, wilson, chiamin, yanshan, wan..and others like eileen, winstar, yiqin..hais..i dont have many friends to mention anyway..so it will be a short list of them..but i'd rmb them no matter how long we've never seen or contact each other..
nevertheless..i still have other problems..esp thinking too much on my side. this will not sound surprised to ah poh i think..she knows that i always have problems in this kinda things..like thinking why is that someone doing this this this for me..then as time goes by..oh noooo. feels like sheet ok. it is like so maru and so waste of my time. like i've spent so much of my time on something which doesn't need to pay attention to in the first place..this sound so childish-like of me..by now i shouldn't have problems like this but in reality, i still had it. i dont know how to solve this self thinking part..i sound so stupid admiting these..it is like im the only party always to face this problems. the other party is just treating me as a matter of fact, that im just another someone, nothing to concern so much about. very idiot of me i know..and i should have slap myself awake telling myself that nothing is going to happen between blahblah and me. ooookkokokkk. i should have realise it very long ago..
hmmm..wahh. felt sort of relieve..saying my worries out felt good mann..lololl..thanks blogspot
these two days i think alot. think about my pp. still not yet finish, i tell myself that i will finish by whenwhenwhen but is not accomplished. no motivation and just plain lazy. i only know how to drag the deadline, giving excuses like i can do it on some other day..but i know it is just self-assuring, maybe the pp will done by itself. wtfook. i indeed still did not changed since secondary. i push my responsibilites, lazy and doesn't treat matters seriously..how did i manage to enter poly huh..i dont know man..
then there's this problem with me in dealing with friendships..i dont know how to cherish them i think. like recently with ah poh stuffs..and friends in secondary school..seldom contact anymore..but i'm surprise there's this one friend from my primary sch..we still talked like we're still in pri..which i feel very xinwei =)..and i know i cannot get along with people easily as others..maybe it is because the impression i give them..not as friendly as others..or the way i react and talked..not something they like or expected..im scare of saying something wrong or inappropriate to them..then my chance of making friends all gone..and sometimes i appear very unnatural to people..which might irriates them..i just felt kinda sad..that this misunderstadning can cause ppl to not get to be friends with..maybe i've just missed a great friend just because of this..and the saddest part was it was me who caused this..hais..im trying to change yes..then sometimes i envied ppl who have alot of companies..anywhere they go, bound to have ppl acc them..but sometimes no..just wanna be alone..doesn't want to talk..just read something or just stare at some stuffs..i dont know..maybe this is what zi bi zhen meant..okkokookokok..think i'm like a immature problem kid..because these problems normally only appear in secondary sch lifes..but now i still have them in my poly life..wts is this..so i want write down friends who meant very much to me..first, ah poh, shiqin, jennica, huiru, weijuan.. ppl in w15e, esp yuanshan, cheri, eileen, benz, fel, yingying ..ppl in w15r, esp klara, sheryl, weixian.. ppl in e46f esp, meiying, fiona, peckyee, jiani, xiaoxiao, ben ..ppl in sakura, esp titan, wilson, chiamin, yanshan, wan..and others like eileen, winstar, yiqin..hais..i dont have many friends to mention anyway..so it will be a short list of them..but i'd rmb them no matter how long we've never seen or contact each other..
nevertheless..i still have other problems..esp thinking too much on my side. this will not sound surprised to ah poh i think..she knows that i always have problems in this kinda things..like thinking why is that someone doing this this this for me..then as time goes by..oh noooo. feels like sheet ok. it is like so maru and so waste of my time. like i've spent so much of my time on something which doesn't need to pay attention to in the first place..this sound so childish-like of me..by now i shouldn't have problems like this but in reality, i still had it. i dont know how to solve this self thinking part..i sound so stupid admiting these..it is like im the only party always to face this problems. the other party is just treating me as a matter of fact, that im just another someone, nothing to concern so much about. very idiot of me i know..and i should have slap myself awake telling myself that nothing is going to happen between blahblah and me. ooookkokokkk. i should have realise it very long ago..
hmmm..wahh. felt sort of relieve..saying my worries out felt good mann..lololl..thanks blogspot
Comments