First day of Chinese Lunar New Year

Dear Heyyeeyayo,

Sorry.. it had been really really long. And I think I have lost myself. Today, my sister and brother spent their whole day with me on the first day of Chinese New Year with me; to celebrate my 24th birthday with me. But all along, I had been thinking that it because they do not have any plans and were obligated to stay together as a practice on such occasion. Until I heard them saying over desserts time when they said something like they gave their whole day to me today and hope I liked it. I do, but feeling guilty too. That I think I took them for granted. I placed my interest and selfishness over them. I had only been thinking for myself. What I like to eat, what I feel like doing, how I want the day to be. But I somehow see that sister and brother had been giving in to me.
And I think I had always been expecting. Like expecting things to be more than what it was. And expecting things to be revolving only around me because it was my birthday. Was really kind of affected that not really much people wished me. I think I am getting what I sowed.
I have to know what is in front of me and learnt things that are happening around me. I can't live for myself. I have to think about others.

I don't know how to start.

Signing off,
JiaJia

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Dear Heyyeeyayo & Greenie, Good Morning. Am here to disturb again. Hope you are all doing well. Sorry too for going and coming as and when. Thank you so much too. Not sure what to write here when I have come to here. Had things in mind but became blank once reached here. Sorry to keep being a burden to you. Just felt that the changes I had all these time have became so bad. Age doesn't makes me this way. It's the way I think. Heyyeeyayo and Greenie, am I afraid again. What am afraid of. What do will it be correct? Will it be not what I wanted or hope or expect? Have become more inconsiderate, inpatient, rude, selfish, mean, ungracious. How and what do I do about it. Hope everyone is happy and healthy. Hope everyone get what they wish and hope for. Heyyeeyayo and Greeine, I hope you all are as well. Thank you again.
Read more

My happiness, and egg-small-ghost.

Dear Heyyeeyayo, Good Morning. Im here again after so so so long. Guess you knew why I'm here? Haha. I don't really know actually. Wanted to share with you a guy I just knew. On the other hand, I just thought again and felt that it wasn't the most important and only thing that I want to share with you. I just feels like coming to look for you. Thank you Heyyeeyayo. Sorry too. I know you are not really there, but I always feel that you just are. lol. Sorry too, that you have a crazy lousy with broken English owner. Just thankful for all the people I've known, and are around me. The few people in my office whom I paid more attention to. People like Francy, Joyce, Minami, Glaiza. The friends I have like Jacqueline, Khay, Huifen, Zin Mar, Yong Cheng. See Ling too. Although we haven't even met up since we last said we wanted too, but she has been on my mind. Eileen too! Also, Shi Qin, Huiru, Jennica, Zhi Yan and Ah Poh. Hmm. To Ah Poh, felt a little, should I say sa...
Read more

A little non-bluish day than Monday

Dear Heyyeeyayo, Today, just felt really big and fat today. Sigh. Mood was a little better than yesterday; as I think I felt more appreciative than yesterday, but still felt something is missing. Felt like I didn't try to live my best, didn't try to make the day out to be what it should be. I ill-treat the fortune that was given to me. Yet, knowing all these, I don't know what should I do. I felt like I've kept thinking about unnecessary things and events.. which I supposed you could guess it.. Ah Liang.. Hai. I really hope I can better myself from him. Not to lost the meaning of loving someone, but to learn how to manage my feelings well. I really can't say I love him, but just still feel thankful and amazed that he makes me feel something different from the others that I've gotten to know. I appreciate this meet up, hence hoping to want more of it. I really don't wish to spend time feeling sad about it. I feel really tired.. I got so many things to tha...
Read more