W.I.S.A (Why it's Sunday again)
Dear Heyyeeyayo,
Today, or rather just, I flared up again. Know that I cannot give any explanation for it. I just got to keep my temper. Even if I feel a wave of emotion coming up in me. I can feel it. I really think I am crazy. So what I read up alot about Aquarius. It doesn't mean I am good if they say anything good about it. I'm still living in my own thoughts and beliefs. If I am wrong, I am wrong. I ain't no better. I really got alot to learn, to see, to realize.. and to be humble. I have to be.
Today too, I thought of Zhiliang again. What makes me feeling back to zero was feeling the same hit of melancholic slap against all parts of my body again; from hair to sole of my feet. That hit was still big, and impacting. As if it was just the first day when I got into this aching maze. I don't know how long I will take man, but I do understand that I can't force myself to forget; remember less; or pretend that it was just a casual person I've know in an dating application like any other. I can't.
I thought I could, I always thought I could. Including Jing Kang. Probably because the feeling that he is one who can fill up the other part of me which I can't seem to do much about it on my own still stays. Not even Jing Kang ever gave me this piece of me that I hope to fill. It's really.. I don't know.. I don't know what to feel, or what to say to let me do something about it. Let it go? Keep going till you get it? Strange enough, the latter crossed my mind again. I could only just laughed at my pea and pig brain. Why are you even thinking to disturb him again when he finally shakes you off.. That will most likely be what he is thinking. So why do I still want to hold on such thought. I'm just being effortlessly shameless.
Just want to say too, that I'm really thankful for my sister and brother. Okay, my family! (Daddy, and her) Hai.
Good night too.. Thank you too, Heyyeeyayo.
Today, or rather just, I flared up again. Know that I cannot give any explanation for it. I just got to keep my temper. Even if I feel a wave of emotion coming up in me. I can feel it. I really think I am crazy. So what I read up alot about Aquarius. It doesn't mean I am good if they say anything good about it. I'm still living in my own thoughts and beliefs. If I am wrong, I am wrong. I ain't no better. I really got alot to learn, to see, to realize.. and to be humble. I have to be.
Today too, I thought of Zhiliang again. What makes me feeling back to zero was feeling the same hit of melancholic slap against all parts of my body again; from hair to sole of my feet. That hit was still big, and impacting. As if it was just the first day when I got into this aching maze. I don't know how long I will take man, but I do understand that I can't force myself to forget; remember less; or pretend that it was just a casual person I've know in an dating application like any other. I can't.
I thought I could, I always thought I could. Including Jing Kang. Probably because the feeling that he is one who can fill up the other part of me which I can't seem to do much about it on my own still stays. Not even Jing Kang ever gave me this piece of me that I hope to fill. It's really.. I don't know.. I don't know what to feel, or what to say to let me do something about it. Let it go? Keep going till you get it? Strange enough, the latter crossed my mind again. I could only just laughed at my pea and pig brain. Why are you even thinking to disturb him again when he finally shakes you off.. That will most likely be what he is thinking. So why do I still want to hold on such thought. I'm just being effortlessly shameless.
Just want to say too, that I'm really thankful for my sister and brother. Okay, my family! (Daddy, and her) Hai.
Good night too.. Thank you too, Heyyeeyayo.
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